Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
