Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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