I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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