There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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