Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
