She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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