I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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