It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
