I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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