Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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