Me. At least after what I've been through.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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