Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
