Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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