the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
