i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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