Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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