I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize