she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
