This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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