He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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