i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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