these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
meet me or not, i'm out of control
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
