I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
