his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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