He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
not ubering you a puppy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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