just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
