Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize