And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
