This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
