I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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