Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
His nipple licking is glorious
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