you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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