are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
