the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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