We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
