Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
