good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
