i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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