just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize