I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
