Your mouth is God's brothel.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
