We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
