i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
