Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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