Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
