woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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