How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
