Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
