One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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