Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
