It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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