Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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