I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
be right there i have to get my cape
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
