I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You work out of a Hotel?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
