Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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