Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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