i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
