So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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