Girls should come with a carfax report
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
