shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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