Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
