Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
