And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
