White coat. Heels.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
