dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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