I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
