You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I came so hard my ears popped.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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