Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize