That's intense
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I need to sanitize my soul.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
