Whod you bang
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
