grandma shit on top of the toilet
She said her name was "party"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
