And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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