The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
